The Year I Learned the Truth About Santa

by Sally Matheny



Photo: The Truth About Santa

It’s time to face the facts, people. Christmas will be here as quick as Jack Frost. Are you ready?

And since we’re talking about facts, grab a cup of coffee and let me tell you about the year I learned the truth about Santa.

In the early hours of Christmas morning, at age four, I bolted to my parents’ bedroom. Groping in the dark room, I found my mama’s arm and whispered, “I heard Santa!”

A muffled murmur came from the pillow, “It’s not time yet.” 

“No, mama. I heard a loud thud. He’s here right now!”

Never cracking an eye, she mumbled, “Go back to bed. We’ll wake you when it’s time.”

Clearly, my mama did not understand what was happening. A strange, fat man wearing a fur-trimmed, red velour suit was in our house! At that moment, I could care less if he had toys with him or not. I was terrified. Obviously, my parents were too asleep to comprehend. 

There was no way I was going back. My room was closest to the point of invasion--the den. I would have to seek safety in my sister’s room.

Heart racing, I peered out my parents’ doorway. Pitch black. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t there. I knew he had special powers—the ability to fly reindeer, to see me when I was sleeping, and magic to go up and down chimneys. We didn’t have a chimney.  Imagine my horror to learn he had a magic key to open any door he liked. 

Hearing no sounds, I tiptoed quickly into my older sister’s room, shutting and locking the door behind me. I slid between the covers with great stealth. The thought of waking up my sister conjured up almost as much fear as I had of the Christmas intruder.

Leaving Cookies and Milk with Love

Of course, by morning time, the fears flew  with the flinging of wrapping paper.

As years passed, I resolved the trade-off of getting presents was worth the uneasy feeling of Santa entering my house while I was asleep. Besides, all the movies and books portrayed him as jolly and kind. Everyone else seemed to be okay with it. After all, you only leave cookies and milk for people you love. So, I learned to love Santa.

Every October, I began singing songs about him. I knew he was watching to see if I was behaving or not, so I tried to remember to be good—especially once Thanksgiving arrived. I wrote him letters and eagerly visited his “helper” Santas in every store each Christmas. Santa became dear to my heart.

Then, in fourth grade, devastation struck. Terrible rumors questioning Santa's existence had the whole class in a quiet uproar. Whispered opinions darted across the room. One friend said her mama told her, “If you believe in him, he’s real.” That sounded good to me. I loved Santa.

I hated Stuart Whistlenot.

He kept insisting Santa was not real. My friend, Kim and I were determined to prove him wrong. 

The next day, when Kim arrived at school, she was upset. 

“What is it?” I asked.

“Santa,” she sniffled.

My eyes widened as I drew in a breath. "What about him?"

"My mom said you need to ask your mom.”

“You tell me right now,” I demanded. “He's real, right?”

Tears welling up in her eyes, she slowly shook her head no. We hugged one another and cried. I was furious at Stuart Whistlenot.  Somehow, all this seemed his fault.

Is Jesus real?

Immediately after learning the truth about Santa, other thoughts swirled furiously in my mind. 

If Santa isn’t real, then what else is not true?  

Somehow, I always thought the Easter bunny sounded ridiculous and never quite bought into that. 

I figured out the tooth fairy after she forgot to leave money under my pillow a few times. Those characters were never as important, or as real, to me as Santa.

Here’s the thing. My very next thought was--is Jesus real?

For the first eight years of my life, people had read to me and taught me all about Santa. Adults at school, at church, and pretty much every adult I had ever met talked about Santa as if he were alive and well. Many of those same people also talked to me about Jesus.

I asked my best friend that day at school, “Is Jesus real?”

“I think so…I don’t know.”

Our world, as we knew it, slowly crumbled in confusion.

I remember Christmas not being quite the same that year. On Christmas morning, I tried to act excited and surprised because I thought it would make my parents happy. Inside, I felt like something was missing.

Something was missing, or rather Someone. After a year of struggling with doubts, I am thankful to say my friend and I both accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. We accepted Him as the Truth.

After mourning the death of Santa that first year, my joy returned. I’d like to say it was all because of my relationship with Jesus. However, my Christmas "joy" over the years fluctuated. Many years, even as a young adult, I was caught up in the “magic” of Christmas, the hustle and bustle, decorating, and gift giving. 

However, my Christian walk gradually drew me closer to the manger, to a true and lasting joy.

Is a magical Christmas best?

When our first child was born, we envisioned magical Christmas mornings with her. Christmas traditions held special memories in our hearts. For the first few years, we did the Santa thing. Then I remembered my fourth-grade Christmas.

Before our daughter's fourth birthday, we made a decision that was not popular with many folks. But it gave us great peace.  

Family traditions would still be an important part of our lives but we promised to tell our children the truth. We never wanted them to doubt our word, to wonder if we were being honest.

Santa does not come to our house. We still decorate and have family gatherings. Gift giving takes place and lots of baking. Quite often, we still struggle not to jingle our way through the hustle and bustle. We love the excitement of giving gifts. Constantly reigning in our materialistic side, we do things that help us focus on the true meaning of Christmas.

Occasionally, when our children were very young, they would hear so much about Santa from others. Even though they knew the truth, they would still come home and ask, “Is Santa Claus real?”

I would tell them the history of the human St. Nicholas, who had no special powers, but was kind to others. We talked about how playing Santa is something people do for fun. My husband and I would remind them of our promise to tell them the truth. 

Recently, I read in Acts 14 about Barnabas and Paul’s journey to Lystra. The men were kind and healed people in the name of Jesus. They were called gods. The people brought bulls and wreaths to sacrifice to them.

“But when the apostles Barnabas and Paul heard of this they tore their clothes and rushed out into the crowd, shouting, ‘Friends, why are you doing this? We too are only human, like you. We are bringing you good news, telling you to turn from these worthless things to the living God…” (Acts 14:14-15).

When I read this, it made me wonder if that is how St. Nicholas would feel? He did kind things for other people because of his love for Jesus Christ. 

Somewhere along the way, in their enthusiasm, people misinterpreted St. Nicholas. If he could, would he tear his clothes today and rush out to the parents and children, shouting, “Friends, why are you doing this? I was only human, like you. Turn from these worthless things to the living God!” 

Jesus is God's amazing gift of love

I wanted to share with you about my struggles with Santa—as a child and as an adult.  I know some Christian parents labor over this. 

Even now, an inner scuffling still takes place every Christmas between beloved traditions, the desire to make everyone happy, and staying focused on Jesus Christ.

My prayer is for God to continue reminding us of his amazing gift of love and that we share that with others. 

The simple Truth is all we need.




If you found this post helpful, you may also enjoy reading "Besides Love, the Best Gift for Baby's First Christmas." 

Visit Nancy Sanders & Samantha Bell on the Writers' Blog Hop!

                                              Hey there!

Just a little reminder to join in on the Children's Writer Blog Hop. Zip on over to two of my friends' blogs today. Nancy Sanders and Samantha Bell  have their intriguing interviews posted and are tagging more writers as well.

Visit Nancy Sanders at:

http://nancyisanders.wordpress.com/2013/11/08/hippety-hopping-down-the-blog-hop-trail


and Samantha Bell at:

/http://paintandpencils.com/2013/11/08/childrens-writers-blog-hop/#respond

Browse around their websites. They are full of treasures!

Adoption, and Tree-Climbing Contest Winner Announced

Consider Adoption

November is National Adoption Awareness Month. Today’s post tells how three couples grew their family trees through adoption. At the end of the post, we’ll also announce the winner of our Climb-a-Tree Contest!

Have you ever pondered about adoption? Maybe you’ve heard glorious adoption stories and heart-wrenching ones. Every child is a gift from God. Sometimes that gift comes in unexpected ways. Here are glimpses of three miraculous gifts.

One couple devoted several years to fertility doctors before they turned to foster parenting, with hopes of adopting. They were in a special foster-to-adopt program but there were no guarantees. Their minds understood, but their hearts did not.  Falling in love with the first child they fostered, their hearts were shattered when eventually a relative adopted the child. Bracing themselves they fostered two more. Those also later returned to their homes.

Wondering if they heard God’s call correctly, the couple again prayed for direction. A phone call came asking if they would care for the baby of a cocaine addict. There was only one thing they knew to do. They loved and nurtured the baby. For however long God placed this child in their care, they planned to give their best. Three years later, the couple ecstatically adopted this baby into their permanent family.   

A second couple had three biological teenagers. No more children were in the plan. When one of the husband’s relatives chose a lifestyle of drugs over parenting, she left a five-year-old child stranded without a parent. After much prayer, the couple stepped up and welcomed the child into their family through adoption.  Unexpected joys and adventures have filled their home.

A third couple had two young, biological children. Their hearts ached for one more baby but a serious health condition prevented further pregnancies. Thankful and blessed to have the two children, they tried to move forward but the tug on their hearts pulled stronger. One of the children began to pray for a baby through adoption. Then they all prayed and finally they began the process with an adoption agency. They struggled with guilt because so many couples wanted to adopt—couples who had no children. Who were they to ask for a child when they already had two? But sensing God’s will they moved forward.

After awhile, they received a call. A birthmother was
considering their family for her child. The family shouted with excitement!

Two weeks later another call came. Plans were underway for other relatives to adopt the child. Disappointments rippled over the next two years. The home study expired and so this family also prayed for God’s direction. They decided to renew their home study.

Two months later, a birthmother chose their family for her infant. She knew adoption was expensive and some people are only able to adopt once. She wanted to make sure her child had siblings as well as godly parents. She continues to say the family was an answer to her prayers. The family insists the birthmother was the answer to theirs. Blessings abound.

Three, true adoption stories—not one of them came without some heartache. All of them required prayer and perseverance. Many people shy away from adoption for fear of the unknown. Not one child, adopted or biological, comes into this world with any guarantees. In fact, we are all flawed. Aren’t you thankful God loves us as we are and is willing to adopt us into his forever family? I am!

Pray about it. If not adoption, perhaps there is a child who desperately needs you as a friend and mentor. Think about the adults who made a positive impact in your life. A child somewhere needs you to guide and nurture them. It could make a monumental difference in their lives.            

*                                                       *                                              *

And now to announce the winner of our Tree-Climbing Photo Contest!   Thanks to all those who entered! I received many wonderful photos. The name drawn was Jonathan W.! He received a Wilson soccer ball and orange cones. Congratulations and have fun Jonathan!

To see more of the tree-climbers' photos go to https://www.facebook.com/pages/Sally-Matheny-Encourager-Writer-Speaker/330720517002724

Children’s Writers’ Blog Hop

Children’s writers enjoy playing children’s games. Currently there is a game of tag taking place in the form of a Children’s Writers’ Blog Hop. Carol Baldwin tagged Janice Green.

Be sure to hop over to Janice’s blog http://honeycombadventures.com/ for a visit. She tagged me. Thanks, Janice!

 

 

At the end of my post, I’ll tag two more writers. The great thing about this blog hop is YOU, dear reader. Skipping through cyber space is more fun with friends!

 What do you write and why?

I write for children’s magazines, such as Clubhouse and Appleseeds. An assortment of fictional and non-fiction articles are in the mix. Writing for the Christian market is a joy but I also like producing positive literature for the secular market.

Another big part of my writing involves interviewing authors who write for children, middle grades, and young adults. The Write2Ignite! Writers Conference publishes the interviews on their website. I love this job because I research experienced writers, editors, and publishers.  I’m privileged with the opportunity of asking things writers would like to know.

Encouraging others through my blog is my weekly gig. Ordinary things become extraordinary when God’s light shines on them. It delights me to bring a little joy into someone’s day by exposing those things.

The magazine articles, the interviews, and the blog keep me quite busy. However, one may find me scribbling away on a children’s book. One picture book is almost complete if I can just discover the perfect ending! 

 

What would you like to try as a writer but have not?

Oh!  There are many things I want to try! A beginning-reader chapter book on recently discovered ocean life would be fun to write.

Ideas for a fantasy book swirl in my mind on a regular basis.

Someday, a devotion book for children would be an amazing challenge.

Writing is hard work but I love the variety!

 

What is the hardest part about writing?

Staying focused.

God gave me a precious pastor-husband to share my life journey with and He blessed me with children to love, nurture, and homeschool. The people God brings in my path each day are top priority.

However, many lives can be touched through written words as well. Literature has the power to influence and change a person’s life—for better or for worse. I want my writing to make a positive impact in the world.

In order to do that, I must educate myself and practice the craft of writing. Carving out time to write means eliminating television and reducing things that can guzzle my time, like facebook.

 

My own jumping bean thoughts challenge me daily. I continually struggle to rein them in. Making lists seems to tame them for a short while.

Three-hour chunks of writing time are golden at my house so I must learn to shut out frivolous distractions to produce quality work.

Any words of wisdom for other authors?

Oh, mercy, I am not experienced enough to hand out any writing wisdom! I will share with you some things that have helped me:

·         Attend writing conferences. You can learn a vast amount in a short time span. Plus, the people you meet there are valuable gems.

·         Read heaps of books.  Read for enjoyment but also study books on the craft of writing. Your library should have plenty of these. The more I read about the craft, the more I realize I need to learn.

·         Prioritize. Live a multifaceted life, embracing the people and experiences God gives you. Savor the simple moments as much as the complex. This enriches your life and your writing.

 

·         Practice writing regularly—journaling, blogging, articles, and manuscripts.

·         Don’t get discouraged. Maintain a separate calendar for all your writing endeavors. Write down every book and blog you read on the craft of writing and the writing conferences you attend. Jot down every time you make a connection with another writer whether it is in person or via social media. Record the time you actually spend on writing. And, of course, note when and where you send your submissions.

If you love writing, do not let rejections sway you into quitting prematurely.

Look back over your writing calendar. You will see how much you actually achieved. You are learning! Every book, every conference—they all are accomplishments towards your goal in becoming a great writer.

C.S. Lewis said,

“It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.”

That seems like an excellent place to end and tag two other writers. They will post their interviews the week of November 4.

Hop over to author Nancy Sanders blog. She has written over 80 books for children, teachers, and writers. I’ve learned a great deal from her and I’m sure you’ll love her blog at http://nancyisanders.com/blogzone/.

Also, please visit another dear friend of mine, Samantha Bell at http://paintandpencils.com/. Samantha is an author and illustrator. She recently launched a new book, The Perfect Pet. Wait until you see her beautiful artwork!

 

Thank you, Nancy and Samantha! “Tag—you’re it!”

 

 

 

 

Encouraging Words from Author/Speaker Tim Shoemaker

A great deal of my writing goes into interview articles. One of my favorite assignments is covering book authors.

Not only do they share wisdom for writers but also they give great encouragement for Christian living. Today, I want to share an excerpt from an interview I did with author Tim Shoemaker.

Tim Shoemaker is the author of eleven books including Dangerous Devotions for Guys and Smashed Tomatoes, Bottle Rockets…and Other Devotionals You Can Do With Your Kids.  

In May 2013, his book, Code of Silence, was named in the Top Ten List of Crime Novels for Youth in Booklist Online. Back Before Dark is the sequel, and it came out in the spring of 2013.

Tim speaks at “churches, para-church organizations such as Focus on the Family, Iron Sharpens Iron Men’s Conferences, International Network of Children’s Ministry, Moody Pastors Conference, at men’s retreats, women’s groups, couples retreats, Youth Worker conventions, homeschool conventions, and conduct Family Devotion Workshops all across the country.” 

Tim thanks for carving some time out of your schedule for this interview. I know you’ve been writing and speaking full-time since 2004. How many years did you write before doing it full-time? Share with us how your writing journey began.

I’ve been writing since sometime in the early 90’s, at least. I wrote things for my three sons, mainly. Most of the writing was family devotional things that I did with the kids—object lesson and activity-oriented stuff to teach spiritual truth. I also loved telling them stories, and they’d ask me to write them down.  In time, I started doing that.

 And my youngest son had a hard time reading—so to encourage him along I wrote stories for him—at his reading and interest level. What I didn’t see at the time was that God was preparing me to write for a bigger audience.

I notice your writing now falls into two categories: one for parents and youth workers and the other is fiction for boys. First, I want to ask about your writing for parents and youth workers. What drew you to this genre?

As a dad, I struggled to effectively teach my boys about God and the principles he gave us to live by. I had a stack of books for family devotions, none of which really worked for long. Then I started doing little object lessons to teach spiritual truth. Blowing up eggs in the microwave. Smashing tomatoes. Shooting model rockets. All kinds of things. The boys listened. Learned. Enjoyed it. And with every object lesson or activity, they were getting a nugget of truth etched into their mind.

So eventually I started writing them down—thinking maybe my sons could use them with their own kids when they grew up. Then, at a writer’s conference, I was showing an acquisitions editor some fiction—and it was clearly with the wrong publishing house for that. “What else do you have?” he said. I almost answered “nothing” because the fiction was all I’d planned to present. That was my dream. Then the devotionals popped into my mind. I mentioned them—and he loved the examples I was giving him. The devotionals were written with all the passion of a dad’s love—and that started a series of books.  I had no idea God was using the writing I was doing for my kids to launch something bigger. 

Since I struggled to teach my kids, I totally understood other parents—especially dads—as they wrestled to convey spiritual truth in a way that their kids would listen. God developed a passion in me to help them, too. That’s where the speaking came in.

As for writing for youth workers, that was a natural path to take. I’d been working with youth for years. The same devotionals that worked for my boys at home worked for kids in a youth group. Really well. So when Group Publications approached me about doing a book, by God’s grace I was ready. Isn’t it amazing how God paves the way without us even being aware of it?

You have awesome titles in your devotion books for guys. Boys are naturally drawn to things like “Puking Pumpkins.” When you write your devotions for boys, what is your writing process? Do you think of a devotional first and then incorporate something similar to a “puking pumpkin” into it? Or, do you think of the puking pumpkin first, and then tie in a devotional?

It happens both ways. Sometimes there is a truth I want to convey, and I pray for a clear—and sometimes crazy way to present it. Other times I see something or hear about something and think—wow…there has to be a devotional in there somewhere.

A man spoke to me at a conference and asked if I’d ever tried electrocuting a pickle. I was instantly intrigued. “No, what does it do?” When I got home, I tried it, and God helped me see how perfectly that illustrated a basic but tough truth of our faith. I’ve used that demo with men and students many times since. I have a proposal for another book of devotionals out there—and “Electro-pickle” (or “Franken-pickle”) will definitely be in there.

Do you have a set routine for writing each day? What helps you stay on task?

I have a routine for the start of my day. I get up with my wife. Walk a couple miles. Pray. Memorize. Have devotions, journal, and have breakfast. Then I get to work. When I’m really in a time crunch, I write first. That would be the most important thing to keep me on task. Write before I start anything else.

When the weather permits, I write outside. Other times I’ll go to a fast food place. Usually I’m at home. Sometimes the change of environment helps me stay more alert. 

I’m not able to write every day. It takes me a lot of time to prep for speaking engagements, too.

The big time killer is email, Facebook, etc. If I start with that stuff, I’ll likely lose a lot of writing time.

Writers hear about building their platforms. Any thoughts you would like to share about that?

That’s a tough one, because my story isn’t all that typical. I had seven books published before I ever had a platform. But I was busy with work, my family, and in ministry at church. When we had to close our business in 2004 I felt I was to go “all in” on the writing.  I thought God was going to open the doors for the fiction writing. That didn’t happen. Not for years.

But God was working in me. Changing me. Making me the person I should be so I could do the job he had for me. I was talking to a pastor friend, sharing my burden for men and how they often avoided teaching their kids spiritually. “If I could just get men in a room,” I said, “I know I can help them over the hurdles holding them back.”

He looked at me. “Why don’t you come and do it at my church?” It hit me so hard. When I said that thing about getting men in a room, it was a figure of speech. I didn’t really mean I wanted to get men in a room and speak to them. I was scared to death. But I knew I was supposed to do it—so I did. And when I did, I found just how needed it was—and how easily men could be helped. It launched a speaking element of my life that I hadn’t pursued or manufactured. Sure, I had to do work, don’t get me wrong. But God brought the opportunity to me. He put the burden in my heart. My job was not to run away and hide from it—even when I was so afraid to do it.

So the lesson there is if God puts some opportunity in front of you—even if you think it is miles out of your comfort zone—think really hard before saying “no” to it. If I had declined, I would have missed so much.

 

And there is a timing factor to it. I spoke at a children’s ministry conference, presenting teachers with easy and concrete ways they can increase the effectiveness of their teaching, and a woman came up to me after I was finished. Now, I wasn’t the main speaker. I was just teaching a workshop.  She told me how much she’d learned and how excited she was—and how this is the type of thing she’d been looking for at the conference—but hadn’t found until our session. Then she asked something I never forgot. “Where have you been?” The question took me off guard. I knew what she was saying. She saw the gray at my temples—and the fact that I had something to say—but I wasn’t on the main speaker roster. I was a “no name” to her. “I’ve been raising my family.” That was all I could say.

Here are the lessons I took away from that. One, don’t force a platform before you’re ready. Believe me, I wish I’d have been ready when I was younger.  But God knew when I was ready—and he opened the door. Two, if you’ve got kids at home—they’re your priority. Be really careful about doing something that will hurt your influence at home or the time you should be having with your mate and kids.

Some people work so hard to build a platform—at the expense of their marriage and personal peace and their kids. They’re not just building a platform—they’re building a scaffold. And they’ll hang themselves on it if they aren’t careful. Your years with the kids are short. And life is too long to live with the regret of knowing you weren’t the parent you could have been because you were too busy building a platform.

When the time was right for my fiction to be published—it happened. It was so clearly God’s timing, I wish I could tell you about it. Sure, I wished it was sooner, but I see how smart God was with his perfect timing. I couldn’t make my fiction take off before the time was right—and when the time was right I couldn’t mess it up. We’ve got to trust God with all this. Work hard—of course.  Learn the craft—absolutely.  And work at being the consistent—real—Christian you should be. Yes, you’ll likely need a platform…but don’t build it at the expense of your family. Yes, you’ll likely need a platform, but be careful not to start building a platform before you’ve built the person. Make sense? 

I know your three sons are now grown, but how did you balance your writing and speaking engagements when your sons were younger and still at home?

I’m glad you’re zeroing in on this because I think it’s important. My two older boys were in college when the speaking really started. My priority was my kids—so God in his grace didn’t really bring the speaking opportunities until later.

And it makes sense, doesn’t it? Should I really be out telling people how to raise their kids when mine aren’t raised yet? I think some try to get into a speaking ministry a bit young—and it is something to be really careful about.

For the last few years, my wife usually travels with me when I speak, unless it’s a men’s retreat or a writer’s conference. This is a really important thing. We stay close. Have time together. Go out on a date after I’m done speaking.

With the writing, I have to be careful not to push it into the evening. My wife is good about helping me stay balanced. I usually write off in a quiet spot or behind a closed door, but my wife and kids have to be my first priority. If I don’t get that right—what do I really have to share with others? I heard a writer say once “My kids know when I’m on a deadline—and my door is shut—that I’m not to be bothered.” They laughed and remarked how that it wasn’t unusual for their door to be shut like that for several weeks. The audience laughed. And I grieved for her. She’d missed the mark. She was so busy with her message for the masses she didn’t think about the message she was sending to her kids. No book we’ll ever write is more important than our kids.

My youngest is twenty-three now, living at home and studying to be a paramedic. I still read him chapters after I’ve written them to see what he thinks. Try to keep the kids involved and part of the process. Incorporate their suggestions where you can.  I’ve had input from each of my sons that have prompted me to rewrite a chapter or section of a book. And the writing was better for it.

What advice would you offer to beginning writers? 

I think I’ve learned some of my most valuable tips at writing conferences. If you can attend a conference… do it. I love teaching fiction—and if you’re like me—actually hearing someone explain a technique helps you learn faster and better. 

 If you are a Christian—and you’re writing for Christians—watch your walk. Be the real deal. Don’t cut short your time with God so that you can write.

Don’t be discouraged. If this is part of God’s purpose for your life, then you can be sure he is going to help. And if he’s helping you—that’s a good thing. I’m always praying he infuses my writing with his power.

Keep writing. Have credible people read it and give you feedback.  Often a writer’s conference will offer a critique of part of your manuscript. This can be hard, but I learned some valuable lessons this way.

And if your passion is for fiction—don’t discount want you’re doing. Stories are powerful. They can convict, instruct, inspire, and encourage people more effectively than non-fiction many times. Keep learning so you can tell your story in the most compelling way.

Thank you, Tim! Your words will be an encouragement to all our readers.

 

To read the full two-part interview go to www.write2ignite.com

Connect with Tim at: http://www.timshoemakersmashedtomatoes.com/#sthash.C9E2ONQu.dpuf

 

 

Sweet Sandpaper Dreams--Dealing with Chronic Pain

by Sally Matheny

Small, green squares of sandpaper were taped in various places around our house. Three days passed before my husband finally said, “Okay, what's up with all the sandpaper squares?”

Reluctantantly, I said the sandpaper squares were just little reminders for me. That did not suffice his curiosity. Nor did it satisfy my daughters, who after hearing my dream, insisted I share it with you all. 

Most of the time I don’t sleep well enough to dream at all. However, one night I dreamed I was riding an old, school activity bus. I was aware of being with familiar people but I couldn’t really name them. Laughter and chatter gushed through the bus. We were an excited bunch.

Eventually, the bus bumped onto an unpaved route through an open field. The rough terrain jostled us about and I remember mentioning several times about it causing pain to my neck.

After bounding down through the field awhile, we finally arrived at a vast, old barn. The bus windows were down and festive music swirled in the air. The bus pulled alongside the barn and parked.  

Through the barn's large open window, I could see a lively party taking place. Smiles, laughter, and music filled the room. Excitement bubbled forth from the bus passengers as they prepared to exit.

The bus driver asked if I would please stay seated until everyone disembarked. I wondered why he would ask such a thing but I obliged, thinking perhaps he had a question or something.

After everyone left, the bus driver handed me a piece of brown sandpaper. Fingering its roughness, I said, “I don’t understand. What’s this for?”

He kindly explained that I would have to stay on the bus and watch from the window.

 “Why?”

“Because every time you say something about your pain, it is slightly abrasive, like this sandpaper.”

I did not ask for further explanation. I knew exactly what he meant. In reality, I diligently try not to whine about my chronic neck pain. but try to report it in a matter-of-fact way. However, no matter how one says it, if one says it too often, it becomes irritatingly abrasive.
Point taken.

Holding the sandpaper in my lap, I remember feeling sad and left out. There was no anger, just remorse as I watched the people having fun inside.

Then I woke up.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, I pondered it all for a moment. Immediately, I began a search for sandpaper. All I could find was the green kind. That was okay; perhaps it would hark a little louder. I wanted reminders everywhere.

 

 

 

 
 

The pain is more noticeable at night, so one square went beside my bed and another near the bathroom sink. Now, As I brush my teeth, I rub my finger across its scratchy surface.

My family knows nights are worse. I don’t have to tell them that. They see me retrieve ice packs, Tylenol, and such. They are kind and understanding. Continual updates are unnecessary.

 

The refrigerator was next. After a long day, the neck may be sore but a meal needs to be prepared. A stroke or two over the green sandpaper and soon the food is ready and we’re giving God thanks.

Another sandpaper square is inside my purse. Often, when I reach for my cell phone or keys, my knuckle scrapes across it. Not verbally, but mentally, I say “ouch.” Exactly, I think with a smile.

After telling my sweet husband about my dream, he tried to assure me that I was being too hard on myself. He said I did not complain too much—that it was all my own subconscious worries about complaining.

Nonetheless, the sandpaper dream made an impact and my life has changed.

Don’t get me wrong. Our days do not float smoothly by on cotton candy clouds. Some days are great. Others are chaotic. Life is real at our house. Problems and pain come and go.

However, I have witnessed the effects of ceasing the repetitive pain updates.

I feel better!

Life is a little sweeter.

And next time...I'm getting off the bus!