Book Review of Devotions for Sacred Parenting & Gift Card Giveaway!

by Sally Matheny

Devotions for Sacred Parenting by Gary Thomas

“Do you think your children feel more like projects or deeply loved children?”

When I read that, I thought of all the times I have tried to shape my children into productive citizens.

If you’re like me, sometimes that training-them-to-live-in-the-world mindset overrides the cherish-them-for-who-they-are moments.  

The question above and the devotion that followed in Gary Thomas’ book, Devotions for Sacred Parenting, sent me immediately to talk with my heavenly Father.

This devotion tugged at my heart because he talked about a phrase I have often said, “raising kids.”

Thomas wrote,

“It can diminish family life to a farm activity—raising crops or raising pets. Kids are so profoundly different. I’m relating to them, caring for them, involved with them. I don’t want the utilitarian aspect—growing them into adults—to become the defining point of our relationship.”

“We can get so busy trying to make sure our children complete their homework, display good manners, not watch too much television, get enough exercise, and eat well that we can forget to enjoy them and relate to them."

Ahhh . . . and that is why I love, love, love this book. It’s not just another book on how to parent effectively. It takes a fresh look at how God uses parenting to transform us, to draw us to Him, and how that makes us better parents.

This hardback book, published by Zondervan, contains fifty-two devotions followed by reflection questions.

It is for parents of all ages and stages. My husband and I have two grown children out on their own and one teen still at home. We are gleaning precious reminders as well as introductions to some new things to ponder and pray about.

Normally, I’ll use the books I’m sent to review as giveaways here on my blog. I like this book so much I plan to keep this one.

*However, I like it so much, I’m hoping you’ll get one for yourself, so I am giving away a gift certificate to ChristianBook.com!  A name from the list of subscribers to this blog will be randomly selected as the winner on Friday, August 10, 2018.* 

Is your name on the list? Check back next week to see who won!

In the meantime, share with our blog family here, something you cherish about your children-- who they are, what they're teaching you, or ways you enjoy spending time with them.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher in return for an honest review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255

Book Review & Giveaway of GOD BLESS YOU & GOOD NIGHT and the Winner of I PRAYED FOR YOU

by Sally Matheny

God Bless You & Good Night

Bestselling author, Hannah C. Hall has done it again. Her tenth book in the popular A God Bless Book series, God Bless You & Good Night is sure to delight little ones and those who read to them.

As the title suggests, this is a get-ready-for-bedtime book.

The talented illustrator of the series, Steve Whitlow, creates amazing, beautiful, and humorous illustrations for this book as well.

Each full-color, two-page spread shows a different animal parent addressing different bedtime rituals. A cute polar bear in striped pajama pants receives a yummy snack, the otters have fun in their bath, and my favorite is the baby penguin in his penguin pajamas ready for bedtime.

Review and Giveaway of Children’s Picture Book: I PRAYED FOR YOU

by Sally Matheny

I PRAYED FOR YOU Book Giveaway

This book is dedicated to “all the mamas who prayed for their babies and for the mamas-at-heart still waiting.” 

I’m always on the lookout for books with beginnings which are suitable for adopted children as well as biological babies. I PRAYED FOR YOU, written by Jean Fischer, is one of those special finds.

A mama bear tells her child of the various prayers she has prayed for him. The main text of the story does not rhyme but on each page, is a sentence prayer which does rhyme.

“Dear loving Father in heaven above, send a sweet baby for Mama to love.”

As Mama bears shares about the things her little one has done as he has grown, she also shares about the different prayers she has prayed pertaining to those things. The point of the sweet story is Mama bear will always be praying for her child as he grows. I liked this book.

The illustrations by Frank Endersby are beautiful. The only illustration that seemed a bit odd was the last one. The story progresses from babyhood to starting school. The very first illustration is of the baby bear in a cradle. The last illustration shows him in that same cradle. The story flows well and has a precious ending. But the book shows a growing bear who plays soccer. Clearly, he would not still fit in that cradle.

Little bear and book for your little one.

He has the same blanket as well, but we know some little ones will sleep with their baby blankets for many, many years!

Boys and girls, ages 4-8, will enjoy this hardcover book reminding them of God’s love and the love of a praying mama.

It would make a great gift for a baby shower, adoption celebration, or child’s birthday.

I’m giving this 32-page, hardcover book and a little stuffed bear away to someone who comments below.

Tell us ONE thing you pray (or have prayed) for a little one who’s precious to you. All those who comment will have their names placed in a drawing for the book and the bear. A winner will be randomly selected on Sunday, April 8 and announced here.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookLook Bloggers <http://booklookbloggers.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255

How to Deal with a Child’s Repeated Misbehavior

by Sally Matheny

Dealing with a Child's Misbehavior

(pixabay photo)

What do you do when your children keep repeating the same misbehavior? Whether it’s disrespect, dishonesty, or a despicable attitude, you’d think they’d get tired of listening to the same lecture about the error of their ways. Or the penalties, which increase in severity with each infraction, would finally produce the desired behavior.

Alas, any improvement seems temporary. So, how do we deal with a child’s repeated misbehavior?

Whether the child is six or sixteen, too often, parents hear, “But I didn’t understand” or “I didn’t hear you” or something similar.

Half the time we don’t believe that, but to close any loopholes, consider following through with a few of these steps.

The Basics

There are numerous resources available for parents on the basics of setting age-appropriate rules, discipline, rewards, and consequences. My favorite websites are Focus on the Family, Christian Parenting, and Lifeway. However, the link I provided is from TheSpruce.com. I liked the easy-to-understand article there.

I’ll only mention a few key points beyond what’s in that article, because I’m thinking if you clicked on this title, you’re already implementing those and need something more.

Remember:

Maintain eye contact when talking with your child. Make sure you have their undivided attention when discussing behavior expectations.

Explain in an age-appropriate manner why it’s important to have the desired behavior. Preferably this is not simply stating, “because I said so!”

Ask the child to repeat back to you what you’ve said.

Stay calm. Berating or ridiculing children is not the best answer. Be gracious. Remember all the times in the Bible when Jesus compassionately restored those who sinned?

Offer do-overs. Start the day with new mercies and a clean slate. It’s possible for children to experience grace as well as the consequences for sin. We all know that.

Sincerely listen to your child’s input on the matter. It’s only by listening and following up with questions that we can begin to understand the root of the problem.

The Book That Brought Me Home

by Sally Matheny

     Not long ago, I was asked to participate in a blog hop for the on-line magazine, Books Make a Difference. I am to share how a particular book has made a difference in my life. The problem lies in narrowing it down to one book! 

     Books have influenced my whole life.  But one particular turning point occurred when I was thirty years old.  

      My life brimmed with children—twenty -eight kindergarten students during the day, and my own two toddlers at night. In addition to His Holy Word, God used another book to drastically change that number of children, and to reroute my life.

     


      Even though I loved teaching kindergarten, my little girls continually begged me to stay at home with them. I, too, longed to devote more time to their momentary childhood.  However, my husband and I were living paycheck to paycheck. The first time I brought the topic up with my husband he said, "What? I don't know if we can pay our bills on one income!"

     I picked up the book, Women Leaving the Workplace, by Larry Burkett (Moody Publisher, 1999). It was the book that brought me home for good.

     Burkett is well known for his successful financial advising. Writing with a Christian worldview, he did a superb job offering spiritual counsel and practical advice for women considering coming home full-time.  

     For months, we followed several of Burkett’s suggestions. We practiced living solely on my husband’s income. That meant selling our new car in exchange for a used one. We ate out less often and practiced Burkett’s envelope budgeting system.

     We talked with our girls about the possibility of me leaving my teaching job. If I "came home for good," we would not have money for many extra things. I'll never forget how I felt when our four-year-old replied, “Oh, that’s okay, Mommy. I don’t need anything.  All I want is you.”

     Women Leaving the Workplace helped equip us to take a leap of faith and be obedient to what God was calling our family to do. We were amazed! Not only were we able to pay our bills, we were able to save, give tithes and offerings, and still enjoy a few treats along the way. The time at home provided more precious moments with the children and opportunities to teach their tender hearts.

     The encouragement and guidance this book offered made a difference not only in my life, but also in the lives of my husband and our children.

     Besides budgeting, the book contains a chapter on how to transition back into the workforce.  At one time, I worked part-time as a church secretary and my children were allowed to accompany me. However, after our oldest completed second grade, God called us to a new adventure—homeschooling!

    Books were influential in that decision as well, but that’s another story for another day.

Share with us. What book has made a difference in your life?

Soothing a Child’s Sour Attitude

by Sally Matheny

Soothe a Child's Sour Attitude (Pixabay photo)

Grumbles. Moans. A sour attitude seeps from my young son. My smile stays fixed while maintaining a cheery tone. Sometimes those work in soothing a child's attitude. Perhaps there is still hope for a peaceful morning.

I watch the possibility of quietude dissolve in my son’s furrowed brows.

Complaints about math begin to spew. Today, he chooses to tackle the subject—not by making an effort, but with harsh words.  

Usually, my encouraging spirit holds firm during these occasional tirades.

Not today. This cheerleader tosses her pom-poms aside and grabs the ref’s whistle. Mentally, I call a time-out to address the heart issue.

“Why are you complaining about math before you even open your book?”

“I hate it.”

“Why?”

“Because it stinks.”

I know he’s playing the blame game. In truth, he’s angry about the time it takes to correct yesterday’s mistakes before studying a new math concept. He’d rather move on in the book so he can finish the day’s assignment, and get to the hobbies he enjoys. So I press further

.

“Why does it stink?”

“Because I’m not good at it.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know.”

“Not everyone likes math. I don’t like math, either. Which should let you know how much I love you to sit here and help you with math every day! But think about people who do love math. Why would they like doing math?”

“Because they’re good at it.”

“How did they get good at it? When they first read about a new math concept, do you think they were great at it?”

“Maybe.”

“Yeah, maybe things clicked right away. Perhaps they understood the new concept because they had already mastered the steps leading up to it. Right?”

“Yeah.”

“Why do you think they were successful at solving those problems?”

Hesitant now, because he knows where this is going, he mumbles, “I guess they practiced.”

“Kind of like when you master a level on your video game. At first, you get frustrated. But you keep at it until you figure out the solution, how to advance to the next level, and then how to win. Right?”

“I guess.”

“Look. I don’t like math. You don’t like math. We’d both rather do something else. But, it’s something we need to practice and master so we can move to the next level. Some of the skills we learn, we may use every day. Other concepts we may never use.

The thing is, we don’t know which skills we will need in the future and which ones we won’t need. We do know we have to take tests on these things in order to advance to the next level, the next grade, and on to graduation.

We may make plans for our futures but we don’t know with absolute certainty what God has in mind for us five, ten, or twenty years from now. We need to learn what is required of us at this moment and give our best. Besides these math problems teach us life skills.”

Bring Your Bible to School Day Means More Than You Think

by Sally Matheny

Students with Bibles

The effect of supporting “Bring Your Bible to School Day,” is greater than you think.

There are 195 independent countries in the world, plus approximately 60 dependent areas and five disputed territories.

According to Open Doors USA, the following countries are where Christians endure the most severe persecution for their faith:

 1.    North Korea

 2.    Iraq

 3.    Eritrea

 4.    Afghanistan

 5.    Syria

 6.    Pakistan

 7.    Somalia

 8.    Sudan

 9.    Iran

10.  Libya

Bibles in their native languages are banned in many of these countries. Persecution includes oppression, imprisonment, and death. While we sympathize, many of us choose to isolate ourselves from the terrors abroad. Those countries are far away from us.

Guess which country ranked #40 on the list of 195 for persecuting Christians?

Our next-door neighbor, Mexico. That totally surprised me.

We can visit Open Doors USA and Voice of the Martyrs for better understanding and to learn ways to help.

But, what does all that have to do with our country and Bring Your Bible to School Day?

How to Talk to Kids about God’s Presence in the Midst of Natural Disasters

by Sally Matheny

Where is God?  (Pixabay photo)

As much as we try to protect them, most children will at some point, hear people talk about catastrophic, natural disasters when they occur. 

Many kids will watch coverage of the events on T.V. or see photos in other media. 

Some kids may worry about their own safety as well as the well-being of others. 

Natural disasters cause people to lose electricity, lose homes, and sometimes suffer the loss of a loved one. It’s normal to hear, “Where is God?”

So how can we, as Christian parents, share with our kids about God’s presence in the midst of natural disasters? Here are a few things to talk about.

The Earth’s Fallen State

In the beginning, everything God created was good. Because humankind chose to sin, the earth became cursed. It’s no longer a perfect place to live. (Genesis 3) Sometimes bad things happen.

God’s Sovereignty

We can find strength and peace in knowing God is in control. Chip Ingram wrote a great article about what God’s sovereignty really means and he backs it up with scripture. You can read that at Christianity.com. Depending on the age of your children, consider reading through the book of Job together.

God is the Creator of all things. In the Bible, we read of His ability to create storms and His power to calm them.

It’s not for us to speculate why God allows natural disasters, or any trial for that matter. Only God knows the reasons.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9

As we build a relationship with God through prayer and Bible study, we’ll learn to trust His wisdom, even when we don’t fully understand how He works or why.

God’s Love

Remind children of God’s love. He shows that in many ways. The greatest demonstration of His love will always be that He sent His one and only Son, Jesus Christ to save us from our sins.

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16

Because Jesus loves us so much, he took on a full understanding of suffering when he bore our sins on the cross. He knows our pain and sorrow.

God’s Mercy

Remind kids God has blessed us with great advancements in technology. Meteorologists are able to track storms more now than ever before. Usually, people are warned in plenty of time before severe weather occurs in order to make plans for safety.

Sometimes, natural disasters issue warnings of a different kind. An article, Where is God in Natural Disasters?, by the Billy Graham Association, stated:

        “…disasters are God’s invitation to us to wake up and see what’s important in life—our spiritual condition.”

The younger children may not be ready to hear that life is short. But, as your children mature, they’ll soon realize that death doesn’t solely wait for the old and decrepit. We must be ready for our appointed time because we do not know when that will be.

“Teach us to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Psalm 90:12.

Time is fleeting. We must share the good news of Jesus Christ with others so they can live a life of hope and be ready for eternity as well.

God Wants to Use Us

Look for the helpers.
(Pixabay photos)

Fred Rogers of MISTER ROGERS NEIGHBORHOOD shared about when he was a child and encountered scary news. He said his mother would tell him to look on the sidelines. She said, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”

Pointing out the helpers may help calm a worried child. Remind him that God is compassionate. God wants to use people to minister to the needs of others.

Parents can guide the worried child from feeling helpless to being helpful. 

Families can minister to those who are picking up the pieces after a natural disaster.

Ways We Can Help

Donate money to trustworthy organizations such as Samaritan’s Purse or the Baptists on Mission.

Look for local organizations offering ministry opportunities that even young children can help with.

Many collect first aid and hygiene kits. Children can help collect items for the kits. They can draw cards and write encouraging Bible verses to go inside the kits and even help deliver them to the organization.

Help your child coordinate a canned food drive in the neighborhood or hold a diaper shower at your church. Perhaps your child may select gently used toys or clothes for a child in need.

If a natural disaster is close to home, perhaps consider offering childcare one evening a week for a family trying to get their lives back in order. Or get your teens involved by helping serve hot meals for folks staying in shelters. Maybe God is leading you to offer a temporary living space for someone.

Look for ways to share the love and hope of Jesus.

Offer Assurance

When disasters strike, make every attempt to prevent media updates from overburdening our children.

When our children seem worried, we should ask them what they know about the situation. Listen to their concerns. Sometimes, all it takes is clarifying something they misunderstood. Other times, a deeper discussion is necessary. It’s okay to say you don’t know all the answers!

We must assure our children we’ll do everything in our power to protect them.

We can comfort our children with the knowledge of God’s love and wisdom. Pray with them about the situation.

Most importantly, as Christian parents, we need to act and talk as if we believe God is in control. Our examples of trust are powerful and they will speak louder than any roar of nature. 

5 Ways to Make Our Kids Rich by Memorial Day

by Sally Matheny
    

Memorial Day-Teach the Next Generation

Here's five ways to make your kids rich by Memorial Day. 

Begin by telling them about Memorial Day.

Memorial Day—it’s more than a day off, more than grilling out, and more than sashaying in the days of summer with store sales.

Originally, the holiday commemorated those soldiers who died during the Civil War. Over time, it has developed into a day of remembering every person who has served in the military and given the ultimate sacrifice.

     





Talk about what attributes the military must have. Do we desire to have these as well?

Courage,

respect, 

and a good work ethic. 

They preserve peace when possible and fight for what is right, when necessary.

Preserving peace when possible--
fighting for what is right when necessary.

It's important to share our sense of gratitude for those who fought and died to protect our way of life. We can’t rightly do that to those who are no longer with us. 

But, we can model for our children how to appreciate retired veterans and those currently serving in the military.

Take time to hear their stories through books, lectures, letters, and films.

Talk with veterans. Glean wisdom from them while we still can. What did they learn from their time in service? What do they want the next generation to know?

Say Thank You

Teach children to honor veterans with:

a firm handshake of gratitude,

attentive eye contact (whether the person is standing, or in a wheelchair),

and somehow, 
either in word or deed, say "thank you."

    

By God’s sovereignty, what our military has done, and continues to do, is one reason we are able to enjoy the freedoms we have today.

Pray for them and ask God to bless our military, our veterans, and especially the families of those whose loved ones died while serving our country.

When children discover the value of freedom and the price that has been paid for it, they'll realize no matter what their circumstances, they are rich. 

How Should We Prepare Our Children for War?

by Sally Matheny 

How Should We Prepare Our Children for War?

Regardless of where we stand on the issue of the military draft, it is the law that our sons, and possibly soon, even our daughters, register with the Selective Service when they turn eighteen years old.

Very few want, or expect, a military draft to occur. But what if…

What if the time comes when we are informed our children will definitely serve in the military? Some of us would have years to prepare, some would have only days.

My son is a young teen. One day he will have to register with the Selective Service. It’s something I prefer not to think about. And yet, if I knew for a fact he would be called up in a few years, how would I prepare him for war?

Prepare Your Daughter Now for Her Wedding Day

by Sally Matheny

Remind your daughter she truly is the daughter of a King.
Photo by Pixaby.

Is there a little princess twirling through your home? Perhaps she has difficulty choosing a "wedding dress" from the half-dozen glittering dresses in her closet. 

Her days are filled with delightful giggles bubbling out as she waves from the top of the sofa . . . I mean, her horse-drawn, glass carriage. 

And you breathe in these moments. 
Then reality hits. Unless you have a fairy godmother, you wonder if you'll be able to make that future fairy tale wedding come true. Whether she's two or twelve,  now is the time to begin preparing your daughter for her wedding.

The average cost of a wedding in the United States is around $30,000 according to valuepenguin.com. Manhattan, New York weddings skyrocket over $88,000 and Mississippi marriages glide around $13,000. 

Weddings in my home state of North Carolina typically average $28,000, but not so for my family.

Is Your Teen Stressing Out? Assure Them They Have What It Takes

by Sally Matheny

Is Your Teen Stressing Out?

Is your teen feeling overwhelmed with school, relationships, or work? 

Transitioning into young adulthood can be stressful. How can parents assure their teens they have what it takes?

Moreover, how can parents help, but not too much? 

In an article on USA Today’s website, "Teens Feeling Stressed, and Many Not Managing It Well" , psychologist, Michael Bradley commented on the level of parental help:

"Some parents set out on a mission to get rid of stress in their kids, but the fact is, some degree of stress is very therapeutic and an appropriate amount of stress is what helps us become strong. The hard part is what's appropriate. We do know the more we try to mitigate all stress in our children's life the less resilient that child becomes and they feel hopeless about their own future." 

Numerous articles, such as this one, point to the symptoms, and the reasons, for the anxieties teens face. Helpful suggestions are offered on how to curtail the stress, such as cutting back on activities and minimizing negative factors.

However, I suggest Christian parents counsel their teens to add more to their lives. That’s right—more. Allow me to explain. 

The following suggestion is presupposing your teen already has a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. If he doesn’t, this is a great time to explain our need for Christ. However, this post is addressing teens who already have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

Teens become anxious about the uncertainties of life, especially when it concerns their future. Whether that’s the prom this spring, or making education choices for a career ten years from now. Quite often we hear young people express, “I don’t know what God wants me to do with my life!”

Parents can encourage their teens by looking at 2 Peter 1:

“For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith, goodness; 

and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to 

self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 

and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. 

For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, 

they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive 

in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” 

2 Peter 1:5-8 (NIV)

Ask your teens what they think God means by faith, goodness, and knowledge. How can we increase these? Will something have to decrease in order for this to happen?

What does self-control, perseverance, and godliness look like in their day-to-day lives? In what ways can they strengthen these qualities? Discuss how that affects others around them.

Talk about examples of brotherly kindness and love we show at home, at work, and at school. Which area do they find it most difficult to show love? Why? Brainstorm for ways to help show more kindness and love to people.

Based on scripture, what do they know about God’s love? Encourage them to make a list and post it as a reminder of the magnitude of His powerful love.

At some point in this conversation, a slight eye roll or a heavy sigh may take place. It’s okay. Just tell your teens the same thing Peter told his “children.”

“So I will always remind you of these things, even though you know them…I think it is right to refresh your memory as long as I live…and I will make every effort to see that…you will always be able to remember these things.” 2 Peter 1:12-15 (NIV)

Teens Need Parents Refreshing Their Minds and Hearts

No matter what teens may say, it means a great deal to them when parents show they care.

There's not a one-size-fits-all answer for reducing stress. Occasionally, teens may need a little parental guidance in time management and decision-making. Ultimately, they need godly, loving parents refreshing their minds and hearts.

Assure them if they increase in God’s ways, there is no need to stress out. Everything is going to be okay, because they have what it takes.

Does your teen have what it takes?

Do you?

---

[i] Jayson, Sharon. “Teens Feeling Stressed, and Many Not Managing It Well.”USAToday.com. Web. 2014/02/11