Big Announcement- We're Moving!

Sally Matheny

(Saundra Clay Photography)

A few of you have already heard that we're moving. No, not the Matheny family. Thank goodness! It was difficult enough just to move to a new website!

Who knew it would be so difficult transferring my blog posts from Blogger to WordPress? If I had known I may not have done it.

A family friend came several times to help with the transfer. As soon as he would leave, everything kept crashing. I was afraid I wasn't smart enough to handle the move and was just about to give up. 

Then, I made one of the best decisions I've made all year. I recruited a prayer team! I'm so thankful and praising the Lord for them.

After that, I just let go of my expectations and said, "Lord, it's in your hands."

If I had not experienced the continual frustration, I would not have had interaction with some special people. God has that special way of bringing good out of something that is seemingly bad.

I learned that the computer woes were not due to my ineptness after all but there was a big snafu with the hosting company.

It's taken months longer than I anticipated to migrate over. But I certanly have been learning a great deal in the process. I'm still learning!

Which will explain why not every one of my old posts is published on the new website yet. Everything has to be reformatted and all the photos removed and reinserted. It's going to take awhile.

Ready to put web design behind me, I'm eager to get back to writing and fellowshipping with you all. 

Thank you for hanging in there with me. Some of you have been with me since I started blogging in 2012. It took me a while to find my focus. The more I blogged the clearer it became. I also appreciate your mercifulness while I continue to learn how to write well. 

It's a scary thing trying to figure out the best way to convey what's in our minds and hearts. Whether you blog or not, we all have a story, a message, something we're passionate to share. 

Yet, sometimes our fears of inadequacy, of failure, or mistreatment freeze our mouths shut. Our pens and keyboards lie silent. All because of fear. 

I'm here to tell you, you just have to take that first step. And then another one.

For me, praying for the help of Jesus Christ is my strength. But He expects me to do my part of the work as well.

If we're waiting on perfect skills before we ever put them into practice, we'll never begin.

We just have to start sharing our story. Simple. Awkward. Whatever. If it is sincere and is presented with love, God can use it. He can't use our message if we never release our words.

That was a long way of telling you thanks for bearing with me as I stumble and stammer for the right words. I want you to join me in the adventure!

Lord willing, and nothing else crashes, the new website launches tomorrow, Monday, September 3, 2018, at 12:00 noon. 

There will be several giveaways. Stop by for a visit at

www.sallmatheny.com 

The Treasures Found on Our Diamond Dig

by Sally Matheny

The Treasures Found on Our Diamond Dig

(Photos by Sally Matheny)

When I first heard of the Crater of Diamonds State Park in Arkansas, I knew our family had to go. We are all into watching television shows of folks mining and digging for buried treasures. 

We have panned for gold before since it’s part of our region’s history.

Although today, gold is like an elusive family member in these parts. Diamonds are like aliens from another planet.

Maybe they’re not as rare as aliens, but the last diamond found remotely close to where we live was in Kings Mountain, North Carolina. And that was in 1893!

So we headed to Murfreesboro, Arkansas where thousands of diamonds have been discovered. Let me tell you about about the treasures we found on our diamond dig!

In route, we discussed what we would name our diamond, should we find one, because that is what you really get to do. It's officially recorded in the books.

Of course, my boy was coming up with crazy names while I was thinking how much of the gospel I could fit into a name. Don’t laugh! There has been a 2.93-carat “God’s Blessing,” a 5.16-carat “God’s Glory” (found after only ten minutes of searching!), and a 2.85-carat “God’s Jewel” which later sold for $20,000.

So, if the Lord blessed me with a diamond, you bet I was going to fit Jesus in there somewhere. 

Once we arrived, we paid $10.00 each to enter the world’s only “Keep What You Find” diamond site.

Our enthusiasm to “get rich quick” pushed us quickly through the informational section of the center. I tried to catch a few glimpses of an instructional video while the guys went to retrieve mining equipment. 

On average, one to two diamonds a day are discovered at the crater, so we wanted to get started and find one before anyone else. Oh, my, that does sound a bit greedy, doesn't it?

It's all fun in the sun until Mom gets hot and hangry.

Once on the field, my family’s search techniques varied. My husband picked a spot smackdab in the middle of the thirty-eight acres of plowed volcanic dirt and sat down to sift one bit at a time.

My son found a shady spot on the edge and I began walking. One of those quick glances at the instructional video mentioned something about just walking around looking for something shiny. I can’t stay in one place long, so I set out to meander through the plowed rows. 

My plan was for us to search from 8 -12:00, take a break and eat a picnic lunch, and then search again from 1:00 – 3:00. 

Even though we began early in the morning, the June day heated up quickly. We were glad we brought water. We carried it and the little shovel and hoe we brought from home in a white five-gallon bucket we purchased at the park. 

So, from time to time, we’d all gather at our white bucket of supplies, drink water and show our recent finds.

Are we searching wisely?

Our pockets quickly filled with rocks we thought looked unusual enough to hold onto. Perhaps they contained a valuable gem of some sort. 

While we knew most of the diamonds found are smaller than a pencil eraser, we also knew a 16.37-carat diamond had been found there in 1975, so if rocks were shiny, we shoved them in our pockets. We also crammed in a few just for their unusual green and red colors.

After searching for what seemed forever, I finally found my husband and told him I thought we must have worked through lunch and probably needed to stop and go eat. I’m one of those you don’t want to get “hangry.” 

I thought surely it was well past 2:00 when I asked my husband for the time. To my surprise, I learned all the toil and sweat occurred in only three hours. It was only 11:30! I was so hot, tired, and almost hangry. 

I wasn’t the only one. The guys said they’d had enough. What? But we have not found a diamond! I suggested we at least go to the sluicing station and rinse off our rocks so the park ranger could identify if we had any treasures.

And that’s when the truth hit us like a boulder. 

We had not bothered to take time to listen thoroughly for instructions. Sweaty with exhaustion, we noticed people with more patience and experience working in the cool water.

They had carried dirt in their buckets to the station. The same kind of bucket in which we had only carried bottles of water and other things for our comfort.

They were sifting handfuls of dirt and TINY rocks, not at all like the ones bulging like tumors in our pockets.

After sifting in the water, their trays of dirt were lifted out, and quickly flipped over on a wooden board. Then, carefully, bit by bit, they studied meticulously, sometimes with the end of a knife, in search of anything reflective. The deceiving mica was flicked out and the search continued.

I sensed the seasoned miner in the safari hat trying to suppress a grin as he saw our empty bucket and bulging pockets.

Trying to save face, I announced, a bit loudly, to my son, to “go ahead and wash your SOUVENIR rocks.”

Yes. Yes, I did. 

And no, no my son would not do it.

My sweet hubby handled the situation differently. He said, “I’m going to go get a bucket of dirt.”

I sat in the shade, too embarrassed to pull the clunky rocks out of my pockets. I watched my husband dump his out in front of the pros. He washed them off and set them aside. 

Then, he watched the others and tried his hand at sifting. After a while, we called it a day and went on a picnic.

After I suppressed my hanger with food, we laughed about our experience.  The park ranger had kindly identified our pretty souvenir rocks. The "treasures" we found on our diamond dig were not what we had expected.

How Can My Ordinary Life Make an Extraordinary Difference in the World?

by Sally Matheny

How can my ordinary life make a difference?

(Pixabay photo)

Ordinary. We all feel it.

As we age, we wonder. Are we making a difference in the world?

In the end, we want our lives to have mattered. To have lived with purpose and in such a way that brought about significant change.

Many people work like a whirlwind, searching and striving to accomplish some grand something.

Others have their life gauge set on survival mode or shift to mediocre living the rest of their days.  

There is another way to live. Our ordinary lives can make an extraordinary difference in the world.  

A Story About Two Famous LEGO Craftsmen

by Sally Matheny

(Part Christiansen and part Sawaya)

This is a story about two, famous Lego® craftsmen. It’s not meant to inspire you to build with colorful, plastic bricks—although it may. Read on and find your motivation. 

Have you heard of Ole Kirk Christiansen? Probably not, but I am sure you’ve heard of his company. 

Ole Kirk, one of ten children who grew up in an impoverished home, worked hard as a wood craftsman in Denmark. Years later, after focusing more on toys than anything else, he named his toyshop “Lego.” Originally, he made wooden toys, but later, in 1947, his company expanded to make plastic toys. 

Ole Kirk was well known for saying, “Det bedste er ikke for godt.” Essentially, that meant, “the best is never too good.” He insisted his toys be of the highest quality. Not all toymakers stood by that motto. But we know by their continued success, the LEGO® company, did and still does. 

How to Deal with a Child’s Repeated Misbehavior

by Sally Matheny

Dealing with a Child's Misbehavior

(pixabay photo)

What do you do when your children keep repeating the same misbehavior? Whether it’s disrespect, dishonesty, or a despicable attitude, you’d think they’d get tired of listening to the same lecture about the error of their ways. Or the penalties, which increase in severity with each infraction, would finally produce the desired behavior.

Alas, any improvement seems temporary. So, how do we deal with a child’s repeated misbehavior?

Whether the child is six or sixteen, too often, parents hear, “But I didn’t understand” or “I didn’t hear you” or something similar.

Half the time we don’t believe that, but to close any loopholes, consider following through with a few of these steps.

The Basics

There are numerous resources available for parents on the basics of setting age-appropriate rules, discipline, rewards, and consequences. My favorite websites are Focus on the Family, Christian Parenting, and Lifeway. However, the link I provided is from TheSpruce.com. I liked the easy-to-understand article there.

I’ll only mention a few key points beyond what’s in that article, because I’m thinking if you clicked on this title, you’re already implementing those and need something more.

Remember:

Maintain eye contact when talking with your child. Make sure you have their undivided attention when discussing behavior expectations.

Explain in an age-appropriate manner why it’s important to have the desired behavior. Preferably this is not simply stating, “because I said so!”

Ask the child to repeat back to you what you’ve said.

Stay calm. Berating or ridiculing children is not the best answer. Be gracious. Remember all the times in the Bible when Jesus compassionately restored those who sinned?

Offer do-overs. Start the day with new mercies and a clean slate. It’s possible for children to experience grace as well as the consequences for sin. We all know that.

Sincerely listen to your child’s input on the matter. It’s only by listening and following up with questions that we can begin to understand the root of the problem.

Get Engaged? Before You Set the Date There’s One Thing You Need to Do

by Sally Matheny


Get Engaged? Before You Set the Date...

Are you thinking about getting engaged?

Apparently, many guys think Christmas and New Year’s Eve are great times to bend a knee and propose to their sweeties. Studies show December is the most popular month for engagements. 

Did you recently get engaged? 

Congratulations! But before you set the date, there’s one thing you need to do.

Seek Premarital Counseling

Seek Christian counseling. This bit of advice may challenge your way of thinking, but it’s worth considering, especially if it can help save your marriage down the road.

Most Christian pastors require four to six premarital counseling sessions with the couple. It is common to see these sessions take place one or two months before the wedding.

This is where I think a change needs to occur. By that time, most of the wedding details are set, sealed, and delivered. Invitations are mailed, venues secured, food and flowers are ordered, and non-refundable deposits made.
How many brides do you think would suggest a longer engagement, to work out some relational issues, if all those wedding arrangements are already in motion? Perhaps premarital counseling should begin before a wedding date is set.

Discuss difficult issues. Communicate personal convictions and goals. A caring pastor will guide you to think about things you may have never considered before. 


Be Brave and Wise 


If the counseling sessions cause you to question your readiness "for better or for worse, until death do you part"—then be brave and wait. 

Perhaps you think you’ve waited long enough. You believe there’s nothing love can’t solve. You say, “You can’t be prepared for everything. Sometimes you have to take life as it comes.”

There’s some truth to that. But consider this. The average couple is engaged for thirteen to eighteen months before they say “I do.” There are a zillion things to do when preparing for a wedding. So much time is invested in coordinating colors, locating the perfect venue, and securing the best wedding cake baker in town.

Shouldn’t godly counsel have as much, if not more, consideration than color swatches, when preparing for a life-changing event?

Prepare for Satan's Fastballs

Shortly after the wedding, Satan will throw his first fastball at your marriage. 

Will what you learned from watching all those Say Yes to the Dress shows be helpful then?

Will the wedding photographer, the florist, or the  musicians be there for you during the challenging times in your marriage?

Besides Love, the Best Gift for Baby's First Christmas

by Sally Matheny

(The Best Gift for Baby's First Christmas)

If God has blessed you with a precious, new life this year, I’m sure your Christmas morning will be extra sweet! 

Your little one already may have a cute stocking hung, and brightly wrapped gifts under the tree. Or, perhaps due to his adventurous spirit, all the gifts are well out of reach!

No matter what gifts you’ve chosen, I hope you've considered one spectacular gift you can give your baby, especially for his first Christmas.

Ideas for a Fun, Family Thanksgiving: Go Vintage!

by Sally Matheny

    

(Have Fun with a Vintage Thanksgiving
Photo by Pixabay)

Are you searching for fun ideas that will bring the family together this Thanksgiving? 

Me, too. My family doesn’t know it yet, but I plan to go vintage this year.

I love traditions, especially during holidays. Yet, our current technology is threatening to exterminate one of our most cherished traditions—family time. I promise this post is not a ranting against technology. I’m actually thankful for it. It keeps me connected to family and friends.
     

However, when we are able to come together in the same place, I want face-to-face, heart-to-heart, talking, laughing, and everyone-fully-engaged-time.

So, we’re going vintage—the pre-cell phone, pre-computer, pre-iPod, pre-satellite dish, pre-electronic gaming system era. 

True vintage items must be at least fifty years old. No need to panic. You may be surprised how long many of your favorite things have been around. Want to go vintage with us? 

Challenge your friends and family to turn off the distractions for at least three hours this Thanksgiving. Focus your full attention on the people gathered in your presence and enjoy the blessings. 

WWII Veteran’s Letter Inspires Us All

by Sally Matheny

WWII Veteran Charles H. Walker

Three weeks before D-Day, WWII Navy sailor, Charles H. Walker wrote a letter to his mother. 

No matter how big or small we think our contribution is in life, this WWII veteran's letter inspires us all to give our best.

(excerpt):

May 14, 1944

“Dear Mother,

I will write you a few lines tonight to let you hear from me. These few lines leave me in good health and getting along fine. I hope you are well.

Mother, I think of you and Dad a lot these days and would like to very, very much see you. Of course, I don’t think it will be as long as it has been until I’ll be back in the states. Not for good, but for a leave, I hope. I think of the rest of the family, too. Of the little girls and of Sis. I know that it will be one more happy day for me when I do get home.

Right now, I’m going to do all I can to get this war over with. My part is only a small one, but I’m proud I can do it, and I’m going to do it as best I can.

Mother, I’ve been in the Navy fifteen months now. And I’ve never been on report or had any extra duty or anything yet. I’m going to try and have my record as clean as if I stay in for 15 years. It’s just as easy to do it right as it is wrong. . .” 

    

                                                                             Good night, Mother. 

                                                                             Your Son, 

                                                                             Charles

Charles Walker served as the senior electrician on the U.S.S. LCF #27. When he wrote this letter at age twenty-two, he thought his role in the war was small.

I disagree.

If the electricity failed, the sweeping for mines came to a halt, the rockets did not launch, and more lives would have been lost. 

Every person on board had a job to do. Whether it was sweeping for mines or sweeping the deck, it all mattered. Doing it well mattered even more.

Charles decided, regardless of the significance of his job, he planned to give his best. He persevered through many monotonous days at sea. Occasionally those days were punctured by kamikaze pilots. The force of one plummeting plane was so close the sailor's pants tugged against his legs.

Later, as the crew fished the Japanese pilot out of the water, Charles found the method of death, for such a young man, unsettling.

A similar empathy came when he observed the frightened German POWs on the shores of Normandy. Charles said many were his age or younger. He felt sorry for them because they looked terrified.

Charles stressed the necessity of America's involvement in the war. He was proud to serve his country and help the oppressed. He realized most of the Japanese and German soldiers were simply following orders, like everyone else in the war.

Thank you and Happy Veterans Day

Some of Charles' days were exhausting, stressful, and lonely. Other days, not so much. But he still longed for home.

He would see the American flag rise at Iwo Jima and serve until February 1946 before heading home for good.

And he was right. It was “one more happy day” when he reunited with his family!

It’s not an easy job serving in the military, especially if you’re far away from the people and the country you love.

I salute Charles Walker, who is still persevering and giving his best at age 95. I wish a Happy Veterans Day to him and all the veterans who chose to serve honorably, or quoting Charles, they did it the "right way.”

Veterans, whatever you consider a “small part” in service to our country, I consider it monumental.

Thank you.

Soothing a Child’s Sour Attitude

by Sally Matheny

Soothe a Child's Sour Attitude (Pixabay photo)

Grumbles. Moans. A sour attitude seeps from my young son. My smile stays fixed while maintaining a cheery tone. Sometimes those work in soothing a child's attitude. Perhaps there is still hope for a peaceful morning.

I watch the possibility of quietude dissolve in my son’s furrowed brows.

Complaints about math begin to spew. Today, he chooses to tackle the subject—not by making an effort, but with harsh words.  

Usually, my encouraging spirit holds firm during these occasional tirades.

Not today. This cheerleader tosses her pom-poms aside and grabs the ref’s whistle. Mentally, I call a time-out to address the heart issue.

“Why are you complaining about math before you even open your book?”

“I hate it.”

“Why?”

“Because it stinks.”

I know he’s playing the blame game. In truth, he’s angry about the time it takes to correct yesterday’s mistakes before studying a new math concept. He’d rather move on in the book so he can finish the day’s assignment, and get to the hobbies he enjoys. So I press further

.

“Why does it stink?”

“Because I’m not good at it.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know.”

“Not everyone likes math. I don’t like math, either. Which should let you know how much I love you to sit here and help you with math every day! But think about people who do love math. Why would they like doing math?”

“Because they’re good at it.”

“How did they get good at it? When they first read about a new math concept, do you think they were great at it?”

“Maybe.”

“Yeah, maybe things clicked right away. Perhaps they understood the new concept because they had already mastered the steps leading up to it. Right?”

“Yeah.”

“Why do you think they were successful at solving those problems?”

Hesitant now, because he knows where this is going, he mumbles, “I guess they practiced.”

“Kind of like when you master a level on your video game. At first, you get frustrated. But you keep at it until you figure out the solution, how to advance to the next level, and then how to win. Right?”

“I guess.”

“Look. I don’t like math. You don’t like math. We’d both rather do something else. But, it’s something we need to practice and master so we can move to the next level. Some of the skills we learn, we may use every day. Other concepts we may never use.

The thing is, we don’t know which skills we will need in the future and which ones we won’t need. We do know we have to take tests on these things in order to advance to the next level, the next grade, and on to graduation.

We may make plans for our futures but we don’t know with absolute certainty what God has in mind for us five, ten, or twenty years from now. We need to learn what is required of us at this moment and give our best. Besides these math problems teach us life skills.”

LOVED BABY Book Review and Giveaway

by Sally Matheny

LOVED BABY  written by Sarah Philpott

Do you know someone who has experienced a miscarriage or infant death? Are you at a loss of how to comfort them? Perhaps you’ve experienced a loss and someone’s words of “comfort” were hurtful.

Everyone reacts differently when they hear the news.

I felt great when I went for my twelve-week pregnancy check-up. Surprised that the doctor wanted to do an ultrasound, I wished I had asked my husband or someone to come enjoy it with me.

On the ultrasound, I saw the profile of our baby’s sweet face. His elbow was bent with his hand up. Five perfectly shaped fingers extended as if to say, “hi.”

Or “bye.”

His body was still. His heart, silent. Our beloved baby had been welcomed into heaven.

And I was ushered into the first stage of grief. In the coming weeks, I experienced something I had never fully understood. My perception of what women go through after a miscarriage changed drastically.

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. One in four American women experiences pregnancy loss. Just as all mothers’ birthing stories are unique, so are the journeys of those who experience pregnancy and infant loss.

Sarah Philpott has penned a new book, Loved Baby, which addresses nearly every aspect of this journey. She’s not a medical doctor, but she’s used the research skills, gained while earning her doctorate in education, to enlighten readers about the various facets of pregnancy and infant loss. She expresses empathy by sharing her own story of two miscarriages. She offers encouragement by sharing her heart for Jesus.

Brief comments from other women who’ve experienced loss are sprinkled throughout the book as well. Readers may not identify with all the emotions presented, but they’ll come away with a greater understanding of just how varied responses to grief can be.

This book confirms that when dealing with pregnancy loss, there is no one-consolation-fits-all. There is no pat answer that will comfort every person in every situation. Everyone grieves and heals differently.

LOVED BABY book and bracelet bundle

Many mothers choose to heal through a special remembrance of their little one. Some plant trees, some start a charity, and some release balloons on the due date. Another way to remember their loved babies is to wear a special piece of jewelry. 

Fashion and Compassion, a company that gives a portion of their sales to various causes, is offering a special, "loved" baby bracelet with the Loved Baby book through the month of October. I don’t make any money off of this promotion. I’m just sharing the info with you in case you’re interested.

Loved Baby is a hardcover book containing thirty-one “devotions.” Some have one Bible verse while others include several scriptures. At the end of every chapter is a short prayer such as,

Lord, I pray for peace to fill my soul, for I know my child is in heaven. Amen.

Also, at the end of each chapter is something called “Soul Work.” Here, usually, one or two suggestions are given for the reader. A few examples of these are:

Do you have answers to your loss? Do you have further questions? Write them down. Schedule a time to speak with your healthcare provider or conduct a preliminary research from reputable sites.       (Soul Work for devotion #7)

Write down every hurtful comment on a single sheet of paper. Get a marker and mark them out. Then throw out the paper.

Now, write down every single thing someone did that showed kindness. It might be something as simple as a hug or a sympathetic glance. Meditate on these acts of love. (Soul Work for devotion #12)

Some “Soul Work” sections suggest getting into God’s Word.

        Reread Job 3:11-19. Underline all the words that describe heaven.

It can be helpful to visualize your child in heaven. Who is there with your child? Write a letter to them asking them to watch over your little one. (Soul Work for devotion #14)

What I gather from these “Soul Work” sections, and from the rest of the book as well, is that Philpott wishes to meet women wherever they are in their spiritual walk.

The initial chapters deal with anger, hurt, and confusion after a miscarriage. A large portion of the devotions is more informational than meditational. 

Some topics addressed are: dealing with emotions and changes in the body, communicating with family members and with medical providers. How to deal with social media, Mother’s Day, and receiving promotional mail for baby products, plus a multitude of other topics readers may not have considered. Philpott covers it all.

However, as the book progresses, I notice an increasing emphasis on trusting and building a relationship with Jesus Christ. The book ends with a call to accept the saving grace of Jesus.

I think Loved Baby would be a good book to give to someone who is struggling after a miscarriage. I think it would especially appeal to those who are new to the Christian faith or to those who may not know of the comfort, hope, and joy that only Christ can give them.