Get Engaged? Before You Set the Date There’s One Thing You Need to Do

by Sally Matheny


Get Engaged? Before You Set the Date...

Are you thinking about getting engaged?

Apparently, many guys think Christmas and New Year’s Eve are great times to bend a knee and propose to their sweeties. Studies show December is the most popular month for engagements. 

Did you recently get engaged? 

Congratulations! But before you set the date, there’s one thing you need to do.

Seek Premarital Counseling

Seek Christian counseling. This bit of advice may challenge your way of thinking, but it’s worth considering, especially if it can help save your marriage down the road.

Most Christian pastors require four to six premarital counseling sessions with the couple. It is common to see these sessions take place one or two months before the wedding.

This is where I think a change needs to occur. By that time, most of the wedding details are set, sealed, and delivered. Invitations are mailed, venues secured, food and flowers are ordered, and non-refundable deposits made.
How many brides do you think would suggest a longer engagement, to work out some relational issues, if all those wedding arrangements are already in motion? Perhaps premarital counseling should begin before a wedding date is set.

Discuss difficult issues. Communicate personal convictions and goals. A caring pastor will guide you to think about things you may have never considered before. 


Be Brave and Wise 


If the counseling sessions cause you to question your readiness "for better or for worse, until death do you part"—then be brave and wait. 

Perhaps you think you’ve waited long enough. You believe there’s nothing love can’t solve. You say, “You can’t be prepared for everything. Sometimes you have to take life as it comes.”

There’s some truth to that. But consider this. The average couple is engaged for thirteen to eighteen months before they say “I do.” There are a zillion things to do when preparing for a wedding. So much time is invested in coordinating colors, locating the perfect venue, and securing the best wedding cake baker in town.

Shouldn’t godly counsel have as much, if not more, consideration than color swatches, when preparing for a life-changing event?

Prepare for Satan's Fastballs

Shortly after the wedding, Satan will throw his first fastball at your marriage. 

Will what you learned from watching all those Say Yes to the Dress shows be helpful then?

Will the wedding photographer, the florist, or the  musicians be there for you during the challenging times in your marriage?

Young Couple Made a Wise Decision Before Announcing Engagement

by Sally Matheny

Young Couple Made a Wise Decision
Before Announcing Engagement

Not long ago, I wrote a post encouraging young couples to seek godly counsel, or work through a Biblical workbook, before setting a wedding date.  

Since my husband is a pastor, we have several copies of a Bible study workbook titled, Before You Say I Do, by Norman Wright. He uses this book when counseling young, engaged couples.

Much to our delight, several months before our daughter became engaged; she and her boyfriend, Samuel, asked if they could have a copy of the workbook. Even though they both regularly talk to their pastors, they wanted to work through the book together while they were away at college. It took some finagling, but they squeezed the Bible study in between their classes and work schedules. 

Since the post,  Get Engaged? Before You Set the Date, There’s One Thing You Need to Do ranks in the top ten of most viewed posts; I thought you might like to hear from Emily and Samuel about their experience of working through the Before You Say I Do book together. Here is our conversation.

Top Ten 2016 Blog Posts

by Sally Matheny

I follow several blogs on a variety of topics. Every January, it’s delightful when they post their top, most popular blog posts from the year. What did other readers find most helpful or entertaining? I click through their lists to make sure I've not missed anything.

I like to do the same thing on my blog. It helps me to see which topics readers found most interesting. 

The book reviews and giveaways were popular. For those of you reading today, here's a heads up! There'll be several giveaways between now and February. You may want to join my free email list if you don't want to miss one.

Otherwise, here are the blog posts you all ranked as the top ten.

The countdown of 2016's top ten:

#10  Parents Raising First Responders: Compassionate Children

# 9  Want to Know How to Be a Great Dad? Pull Up a Chair

# 8  Trusting God Through a Miscarriage (Part 1)

# 7  Why Christians Are Afraid to Speak Up & How to Squash Those Fears

# 6  College Student: Be a Game-Changer & Beat the Need for “Adulting”

# 5  Young Couple Make a Wise Decision Before Announcing Engagement

# 4  Fears and Joys of Adoption (Part 1)

# 3  Sharing the Son Means Leaving the Shade

# 2  Trusting God Through a Miscarriage (Part 2)

# 1 Fears and Joys of Adoption (Part 2)

Sally Matheny

Thank you, dear readers. I feel your pulse.

You and I are striving to grow strong and courageous in our faith so we can influence the next generation to be strong and courageous.

Let’s keep searching for His Truth as we continue to pray for and encourage one another. 

I pray the Lord will meet all your needs and bless you with a joyful and healthy new year.