by Sally Matheny
Wondering Where the Tactful Christians Are? |
Are you infuriated or depressed?
Have the conversations peppered across social media left
you flabbergasted?
I understand, really I do.
After reading them, I wonder if I should respond. I
want to be sensitive and respectful—not offending anyone. Yet, I’d like to
encourage people to seek the truth. But, I struggle trying to find the right words.
Most of the time, I end up not engaging in online “discussions” at all. I’m fearful of the
consequences. Much can be misinterpreted. I’m tenderhearted. Plus, they can sap
my energy and time.
Do you think this way, too?
Or maybe you have a strong, straightforward approach.
No hee-hawing around. You’re passionate about making your point and you press
hard to make your mark.
Heated debates? You say, “Bring it.”
Both of these methods of communication, or non-communication,
may lack something. Is it possible to pull them together and produce a tactful
Christian?
Tact
is a fine art
“Tact is the art of making a point without
making an enemy.”
“Tact is rubbing out
another’s mistake instead of rubbing it in.”
It’s funny how the these quotes are from anonymous
authors. Talk about being discreet.
So, tact is a fine art of knowing when and how to
address an issue in a way that is not insulting.
Pastor and author, Greg Laurie, said,
“Sure, there is a place for point and counterpoint. Sure, we
need to defend our beliefs. But no one has ever been argued into the kingdom of
God. And I have seen Christians win the argument and lose the soul.”
Tact is love, grace, and salt
Look how the Amplified version puts Colossians 4:5-6,
Behave
yourselves wisely [living prudently and with discretion] in your relations with
those of the outside world (the non-Christians), making the very most of the
time and seizing (buying up) the opportunity.
Let
your speech at all times be gracious (pleasant and winsome), seasoned [as it
were] with salt, [so that you may never be at a loss] to know how you ought to
answer anyone [who puts a question to you].
Quite often, we forget the part about making the most
of our opportunities with non-Christians and with Christians who have strayed
from God’s truth.
If the Holy Spirit nudges us to say something about
our faith, and we don’t, then we have left out the essential “salt” that will make
all the difference.
Our motives in communicating with others should always
be with love and grace.
If we’re not feeling the love, then we may need to
step away from the electronic devices before blasting out our comments.
“The heart of the righteous studies how to answer,
But the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil.” Proverbs 15:28 (NKJV)
But the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil.” Proverbs 15:28 (NKJV)
Remember what Jesus said,
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.” Matthew 5:43-45 (NKJV)
It doesn’t mean we must like what someone is doing. We
are called to hate what is evil and cling to what is good. Hate the sin. Love
the sinner.
For those of you who are in the midst of being cursed,
hated, and persecuted, your heads may be shaking in disbelief.
Loving and treating your enemies kindly is not the first thing that comes to mind.
Do good to those who hate you? It’s easier said, than done.
Do good to those who hate you? It’s easier said, than done.
Tact is sometimes silent
Sometimes choosing silence is the best expression of tact.
Senseless controversies swell and fester. It takes strength
and wisdom to know
when to walk away. Just because you can say something, doesn’t mean you should.
when to walk away. Just because you can say something, doesn’t mean you should.
“Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness,
faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. But
avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife.” 2
Timothy 2:22-23 (NKJV)
Tactful Christians require
greater power
When it is time to engage in a discussion, we must
call on the help of Jesus. Left to our own intentions, we’re likely to dump out
the whole saltshaker rather than sprinkle it with discernment.
Or we may get so caught up in an emotional moment that
we totally forget the love, grace, and the Salt!
The Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome,
but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in
opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading
to the knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will.”
2 Timothy 2:24-26 (NASB)
Obeying the Holy Spirit’s nudging to engage in a
difficult conversation, requires courage and self-sacrifice.
Again, easier said, than done. I know!
But we have to remind ourselves God does not want us
to be afraid. He wants us to speak to others the truth of His love. We must
trust Him to give us the right words when we need them.
Waiting on the Lord.
Waiting for His truth, His love,
and His grace to override
everything else
inside of us before we allow
our words to flow out.
Loving others more than ourselves, especially those who are vastly different in their opinions, is not always easy.
But with God's power, it can be done.
and His grace to override
everything else
inside of us before we allow
our words to flow out.
Loving others more than ourselves, especially those who are vastly different in their opinions, is not always easy.
But with God's power, it can be done.
Your thoughts?
Outstanding post, Sally. I may have to borrow a couple of your thoughts for my next blog post. :-) Actually, Proverbs 15:28 gave me an idea for the next one. Thank you for that. I will be sharing this because I believe all Christians should see it. Thank you, again. God bless you.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Bruce. Glean and share all you like. This is a message we all need to practice. Blessings to you as you continue to encourage others.
Delete