Date Your Mate

by Sally Matheny

May is Date Your Mate Month

Are you married? Did you know May is “Date Your Mate” month? It’s essential we put caring for Biblically based marriages at the top of our lists. Christians, our marriages are influential testimonies to the love and power of God.

Perhaps you already date your spouse on a regular basis. Fantastic! Or perhaps you’re like me, and you find date nights just don’t come around often enough.  Let’s put aside all our excuses and brainstorm for some ideas on how to make date nights happen.

Remember in the brainstorming stage, anything goes. Make a list. Divide it into three columns. Under the first column list as many date ideas as you can think of that are free. Under the second column list ideas for dates that cost ten dollars or less. What? There’s nothing wrong with cheap dates! Trust me. If it is thoughtful and sincere, your spouse will love it. In the third column, make a list of possible dates that cost over ten dollars.

Stop procrastinating and do that right now.

Done? Good. Now, grab your calendar. Look at the month of May. Your calendar may look like mine. Appointments and deadlines already flood the white space. I understand. Perhaps you’re thinking your spouse sees you every day. So what’s the big deal?

The challenge is to date your mate. Set time aside just for the two of you, without the distractions of household chores, children, and zoning out in front of the T.V.

To be honest, my husband and I often find our “date night” consists of a trip to the grocery store without kids. That’s cool, but let’s all be intentional this month to do something different, and a little more fun than deciding which type of Little Debbie snack cakes to buy.

Take a look at the calendar and find space for three dates with your spouse. Block those off. Now, go back to your brainstorming list and decide what you’ll do on those dates. Strategize.

Take care of preliminary details. Date, time, location. Arrange childcare, if needed. Another struggle we have is our desire for family time. Nothing is wrong with that—as long as you set aside at least three dates for just you and your spouse.

Only death, disease, or disaster should come between you and these dates with your spouse. Seriously. Think how special your spouse will feel when you’ve made this time with him/her a top priority.

What would be the perfect ending to your date? Imagine that for a moment. Is it joyful and loving as you hold hands and walk off into the sunset?

Alright, that may happen. But be prepared for a plot twist and an unexpected ending. We can go to great lengths to plan the perfect date but it may not materialize exactly the way we envisioned. Occasionally, our plans fall flat.

We are human and life happens. Don’t let awkward moments and mistakes discourage you from further dates with your mate. Perseverance produces success.

One step to a wonderful date is to let go of all preconceived notions of how it should be. He should be making all the plans. She is supposed to arrange childcare. Bringing me flowers would have been nice.

You are the one reading this post. So, at least for the first date, you make all the plans. If no date nights will ever happen unless you plan them, then plan them!

Flowers are a lovely idea. Who says the husband is the only one who can buy flowers? Purchase or pick some fresh flowers and place them in your home to celebrate date night!

If your marriage already ranks at the top of your chart then you know the work that goes into keeping it there. If your marriage is struggling to reach the top five of your priorities, let me offer you some hope.

To experience fulfillment and joy in your marriage, diligently seek mentorship from the Master of relationships.

It is crucial to make your relationship with Jesus Christ your number one priority. Making a daily date with Him will make an enormous difference in how you live with and date your mate.

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, 

and all these things will be given to you as well.”  Matthew 6:33

How will you date your mate? (and please don’t limit it to just the month of May!)